Many know
Many saw
But me
Being loved,
Breath of lives
Breath of knives
Breath of lies
Being loved,
Not kind
Not mind
But me
Being loved,
No one minds it
No one finds it
I don't trust it
Being loved,
So untamed
So defamed
So unstrained
Being loved,
Only too late
Only to hate
Only to mate
Being loved,
Only for some
Only for fun
Only for one
Being loved, sorrowful kind.
It's okay. The breath of knives line was the only one that jumped out at me. Otherwise, it was just nice, but it didn't take me on any kind of a journey. I'm not the best at poetry. I read some, a lot of Shel Silverstein with my kids. Perhaps try to establish a stronger sense of purpose, really try to grate the reader. That knives line was good, but my reaction here is very subjective and only moderately informed in poetry. Do you like Dickenson?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment! Really appreciate it! I understand what you mean, though I just write what comes to mind, without thinking much about things. The only one I really thought was the one titled "Water": in this one I play with meanings.
DeleteRight now I'm writing a novel about serial killers. I'm doing a lot of research on many different topics. So, that's why I don't focus too much on poetry, only (as I said before) writing whatever comes to mind. Like freestyle poetry. I do like Dickenson, though I'm currently reading "As I Lay Dying" by William Faulkner.